What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.
Voice: Dr Brené Brown
Animation: Katy Davis (AKA Gobblynne) www.gobblynne.com
Production and Editing: Al Francis-Sears and Abi Stephenson
Watch Dr Brené Brown's full talk 'The Power of Vulnerability' here:
Dr Brené Brown is a research professor and best-selling author of "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead" (Penguin Portfolio, 2013).
She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.
Find out more about the RSA: http://www.thersa.org
Follow the RSA on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/thersaorg
Like the RSA on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thersaorg
Some of these comments, though... lol
If I'm in pain, I don't want someone to feel my pain and feel sorry for me (sympathise). That is disempowering. I want them to understand, validate and accept me and my pain (empathise). Only that is empowering. Connection. Simples. (I think) I'm a new and already huge fan.
1:00 empathy is not only for people that feel like they're in a dark hole or overwhelmed. Can be for sadness, grief, outrage... .
Empathy is feeling more strongly the same feelings the person is feeling, joining them more in it. And the people who made this video do not understand what sympathy means that all. Sympathy is feeling along with the person, somewhat, and understanding what they're going through. Becoming sad if they're sad or becoming outraged if they're outraged. The example here with the deer, is not sympathy at all. It's a variety of ways for not feeling for the person, there's distancing, non feeling observation, superficiality, minimizing, and taking Delight. Makers of this video have the terms they're trying to explain very wrong. These are major mistakes of an accuracy, this person doesn't deserve a PhD by any stretch of the imagination, they're incapable of thinking well. The only truth is the last statement that feeling for someone and letting them know that is more important than minimizing their situation. But that's basic knowledge for 5 year olds.
I've never met anyone with a #Disability looking for #sympathy. Because that creates is #pity and #abuse. Sadly, this is how most governments work and it is an #uninformed #ableism.
Policy ought to be made from #empathy and that's best achieved by asking rather than telling us.
This usage of empathy v. sympathy is kind of strange. Her definition that she takes from someone else of empathy as "feeling with people" is strange because that's the literal etymological background of sympathy (sym - with, pathy - feeling). Sympathy is the idea that you literally know how someone feels because of shared experience or something along those lines, at least thats what it has meant traditionally. But that is very limited because not everyone has gone through the same things as everyone else. Which is where empathy is supposed to come in as the ability to imagine how someone is feeling even though you may not have gone through the same situation or aren't currently in that situation.
It seems as though in her attempt to distinguish the two she ends up butchering sympathy by combining the positive aspects of sympathy with empathy and then seemingly equating it with either an insincere attempt at sympathy or a complete lack of empathy, neither of which is an accurate portrayal of sympathy.
As the primary care giver for my 80 yr old suffering mom, its hard to sustain over many years such empathy. After a while, something akin to a caregiver burnout becomes evident, and a type of '"empathy-fatigue" sets in. For me, being empathetic and connecting for long stretches of time has limits, and a big one is my own human endurance. That is why I have come to believe that a sufferer's main refuge should be found in God first; because only God can truly understand that person, and meet such massive needs. We then can support that work going on with our own imperfect and limited empathy.
How was Mrs fox allowed to just fall down that hole? Do we know why the ground was so thin with what looks like a basement or abandoned mine below? Someone please be available to get that thicc bear out of the hole. SMH -_-
I'm the empath, and those Goats are important, because something this video does not highlight are all the other animals who are walking past the hole with a sad person stuck in it and ignoring the situation completely, so although the goat is a bit gruff, somewhat unhelpful, and a wee bit problematic, at least they are there, they are trying in their own way, vs just walking on by pretending it's not there at all. <3
Ιn Greek language these words have another meaning. This is a common phenomenon.
Just mention it for those who know Greek: Η λέξη εμπάθεια (από το αρχαίο εμπαθής) είναι μια ελληνιστική λέξη που σήμαινε αρχικά «το έντονο πάθος» για να εξελιχθεί στη σημασία «κακότητα, προκατειλημμένη αρνητική ή εχθρική στάση». Η λέξη ελήφθη από την Αγγλική ως empathy για να δηλώσει «τη συμμετοχή στο πάθος, σ’ αυτό που παθαίνει κάποιος και υποφέρει, στη δυστυχία τού άλλου μέχρι πλήρους ταυτίσεως» και, τελικά, «τη συμπάθεια, τη συμπόνια». Έφτασε δηλ. να δηλώνει το ακριβώς αντίθετο τής ελληνικής λέξης εμπάθεια !
Διαφορετικά εξελίχθηκε η ομόρριζη ελληνική λέξη συμπάθεια, η οποία πέρασε επίσης στην Αγγλική (μέσω τής Λατινικής) ως sympathy. Κι αυτή δήλωσε «την εναρμόνιση με τα συναισθήματα κάποιου άλλου» για να φτάσει τελικά και στη σημασία «συλλυπητήρια» ως έκφραση «τής συμμετοχής στη λύπη, στο πένθος, στην ατυχία τού άλλου».
I'm not criticizing this video, I think her work is great. My point of view is I've done these 'at least' replies before in the past, but not in the condescending kind of tone used here, not because I'm not being empathetic, but because I will try and say anything to help someone in need.
Empathy is when one can understand or even feel what another may be feeling. Trying to understand another's prospective and not judging are some of the ways we can show empathy. When one is empathetic they would not use words like at least. We all should become a little more empathetic.
I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy! I Don't Want Sympathy I Want Empathy!
Please forgive the spammed wall of shouting. I am doing it to try to feel better after something terrible has happened and I can't find the privacy to shout without someone hearing me due to the current population.
I think that is wrong.
Empathy is describing the connection to the person (Me --> Person) and sympathy is describing it the other way around. (Person --> Me)
If i am empathic, I will appeal sympathic to the person.
Where did this woman get her definition of sympathy? She puts sympathy and empathy at odds with each other when they are not. Sympathy means feeling what your friend is feeling, the root word (sym) also found in symbiotic relationships, means that you feel together. It means you are sad because your friend is sad. Empathy means you understand the feelings of the other person, but you can't relate, you are not feeling what they are feeling but you "get it".
Stop trying to change the language.
Please take a sec to look at my short film "UNARMED". This film is about the effects POLICE BRUTALITY can have on a family. I poured my heart & soul into this film and you would literally make my DREAMS COME TRUE by watching and giving feedback. I am a student filmmaker and I literally went broke to produce this film! All feedback is wanted, Thanks!!!
Empathy is very important in marriage and parenting. At least three times a day I'll need to take my ego out of a situation/conflict and listen for what's really going on. Then, to convey that they're not alone, and I get it, and accept them. Then to suggest a next step (which isn't always helpful, actually). It's exhausting, but it makes a more intimate family.
I don't agree with this examples. I feel empathy and sympathy should go together. If I'm in a hole, yes, I'd hope someone would listen and feel with me, but then I definitely need someone to say "hey, let's go get a sandwich", because we can't both be in the hole forever.
P.S. I don't know what the lady in the first animation was drinking, but it was definitely not an espresso. Did you see her eyes? LOL
Great, love it, a question does this only apply to personal relationships or also in business? What would 'Tough empathy' as often coined in terms of leadership look like in this animation, how often do leaders really know what someone needs as compared to what they want?
This is wrong.
I guess the two words lost their true meaning when they got borrowed from latin languages into english. The words' roots may be greek, but they most likely got into english through french.
In fact both the feelings mentioned in the video are pretty good in their own terms.
What those words ACTUALLY mean:
Empathy: picking up other people's moods *without* use of explanations. Example: you *just* see a sad person, you get sad too.
Sympathy: being able to picture (and share) one's feelings after being told. Example: you see your friend sad, you ask what happened. Only after your friend explains to you the fact, you can relate.
One of the core differences is that with sympathy you often picture the fact happening to yourself, and also that with empathy you don't need to know what happened.
Additionaly, it's thought that you are born with a fixed level of the empathy, but you can work on your simpathy.
As you can see, the antler guy has nothing to do with neither term, unlike like the authors want you to think.
I get the vibe that this video is yet another bullshit for the ''I'm-more-sensible-than-you''-people.
Please thumb this comment up so people actually learn something useful from the video.
I will sure use this in my training course ' Energizing Communication with troubled youth ' , it's great, thank you! Empathy - genuineness - timing - trust - humor : all very important ! elladejong.com
I actually think this is a bad video. It makes sympathy a bad word, but by current definitions, it's not. In fact, empathy is a new word, stemming from sympathy. For example, the word sympathy actually means to feel sorry, have pity, and relate to another emotionally. Empathy is understanding what someone has gone thru. I'm a nerd so let's take Snape from the Harry Potter series for example. I can empathize with Snape. He deals with unrequited love and being bullied. I understand and can put myself in those shoes because I truly understand the feelings of both unrequited love and being bullied, but I find that Snape still makes horrible choices, becoming a terrorist, stalker, and being a mean bitter man. Therefore I do not Sympathise with him. I feel like this video gives a negative thing the wrong definition, sympathy. Both sympathy and Empathy are good, but what this video describes as sympathy has NOTHING to do with its actual definition. Liberties are there to make take it and redefine it. So shame on you for confusing people.
So many great comments here. I'm reminded of a scene in the movie Inside Out where Joy is constantly trying to make people joyful by telling them to ignore the bad while Sadness just sits, listens, and seemingly commiserates with others. I tend to interpret sympathy as trying to tell people to get out of their dark world and come join me in my beautiful world while empathy is withholding judgment and simply be there for them, for better or for worse. The final words in the video were the most powerful--rarely does a response make something better; what makes something better is connection.
What she saying is sympathy is pity. Sympathy is when you actually have been through the same situation as the other person, and empathy is putting yourself in someone else's shoes, but still feeling with them
"I don't even know what to say right now, I'm just so glad you told me." Literally the thing I say to everyone who opens up to me (mostly in German, however). And I mean it that way, rarely can I do something about the issue, but I can always just be "there".
Задайте и вы свой вопрос, это бесплатно!
Адвокат по телефону получит предварительную информацию от вас, после чего может в спокойной обстановке восполнить возможные пробелы и проанализировать
правовые нормы. Он оценит все факты и сможет подготовить развернутую консультацию для вас. По этой причине адвокат является вашим сторонником в
разрешении возникших проблем. Вы сбережете свои средства, обратившись за телефонной консультацией.
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затратами. В некоторых случаях в дальнейших очных консультациях не возникает необходимости. По этой причине помощь адвоката, оказываемая по телефону,
Несомненно, сложность разрешения семейных неурядиц обусловлено тем, что между супругами, как правило, нет соглашения, брачного контракта и они предъявляют друг другу различные требования, как материального так и морального характера. Как показывает наша практика, прийти в такой ситуации к обоюдному решении семейного спора очень сложно и, порой, без вмешательства адвоката по семейным делам,— невозможно.
Доверяя решение своего семейного дела (спора) конкретному специалисту, нужно понимать, что не каждый юрист в Украине может предоставить профессиональную помощь в сфере семейного права. Нужно, как минимум, проверить отзывы о нём именно по семейный делам, а как максимум - убедиться в получении юридического образования и адвокатского свидетельства.
Обращаясь к нам, Вы можете быть уверены, что будете работать с компетентными специалистами именно в области семейного права. При первому требованию, мы предоставим красные дипломы о высшем юридическом образовании ведущих высших учебных заведений, адвокатское свидетельство и ссылки на Клиентов, их рекомендации, а также сможете пообщаться с ними в телефонном режиме или при личной встречи. Мы гарантирует качество своих услуг!
и других законов,
сделает анализ практики судов по спорным ситуациям. Наши консультации по телефону и без регистрации пояснят нормы закона и порядок действий
для решения спора.
Заблуждением является мнение, что семейный адвокат оказывает помощь только при возникновении проблемы. Надежный специалист ориентирован на долгосрочное сотрудничество и заинтересован в благополучии клиента. Поэтому он превращается в эффективного советника, способного оказать квалифицированную юридическую помощь по самым разным вопросам и предостеречь от необдуманных действий.